Eskaystentialism

Phacebook Philosophy

2012-01-11T22:58:00.001-05:00

Im not the straw that stirs the drink, Im the lighter that sparks the cypher...

Words of Wisdom

2011-12-25T20:35:00.002-05:00

The good and great things in my life and history do not outweigh the negatives that Ive endured, those positives though, the goods & certainly all the great moments, far outshine the bad....

Proverbs In Need of A Tune-Up

2011-12-19T22:05:00.002-05:00

Honesty actually isnt the best policy. People have different goals so one policy doesnt fit all. But what honesty IS is the least burdensome way of goin about your business, mentally and emotionally. As I say in one of my poems - noble living takes its toll, but living well wont slay your soul....

The Downside of Being Fucking Awesome

2011-12-19T21:17:00.002-05:00

To be perfectly blunt about it, when youre fuckin awesome everyone else out there has to live up to high ass standards because you consider fucking awesomeness as your normal state of being,
Half of you have no clue what Im getting at I realize that but philosophically believe me thats some deep stuff on the human experience.
But this is considered in the emotional vacuum of mental science experiment.

The Long Island Serial Killer

2011-12-06T20:01:00.003-05:00

I just finished an interesting A&E documentary about the case. I will come back later to this topic and give my psych profile and how I draw my conclusion, but let me tell you this. There is more then one person working together on these killings....and Im genuinely not a betting man. But Id wager a lot of money that at least one of the killers (or at least the dominant one who does the killings) will be a police officer or involved in law enforcement somehow. Take note people. December 7th 2011 - I put it down in black & fuckin white. And no my hypothesis is not based on the documentary. Seein it just made me wanna jot somethin down about my profile. Cause what the investigators have revealed so far is so slim that alone is suspect. Anyway read up on it, find your iwn ideas. My in-depth profile will be coming at a later date.

Warriors of The Foo Words of Wisdom

2011-12-01T22:05:00.004-05:00

Ok SK has found a new recurring post for the blog. It will be citing the amazing lyrics of one mister dave grohl. Creator, lead singer and back up drummer - Lol - for the Foo Fighters, or as I call them The Warriors of The Foo. My all time favorite band. So this first Foo lyrical post is a track the casual fan doesnt know....but should. Like every other fuckin song WOTF have ever done. Lol.
Its called D.O.A. Been a fave of mine a long time. Without further ado...

D.O.A.

Oh you know I did it, it's over and I feel fine
Nothing you could say is gonna change my mind
Waited and I waited the longest night
Nothing like the taste to sweet decline

I went down, I fell, I fell so fast
Dropping like the grains in an hourglass
Never say forever cause nothing last
Dancing with the bones of my buried past

Never mind there's nothing I can do
Bet your life there's something killing you

It's a shame we have to die my dear
No ones getting out of here, alive
This time

What a way to go, they have no fear
No ones getting out of here, alive
This time

I'm finished, I'm getting you off my chest
Made you come clean in a dirty dress
A promise is a promise you kept in check
Hard to cross a heart that beats it's best

Take a good hard look for the very last time
The very last one in a very long line
Only took a second to say goodbye
Been a pleasure but the pleasure's been mine, all mine

Ain't no way, DOA
Ain't no way, DOA

It's a shame we have to disappear
No ones getting out of here, alive
This time
This time
This time.......

Stream of Konsciousness 10

2011-11-30T18:26:00.000-05:00

Strange indeed, are these times in which we find humanity.
When the wise man is drowned out, by far & wide insanity.
People try to chastise Me because I exercise morality.
Scared of real talk, they yell, scream and hide behind profanity.
And why is it old friends walked out, during truest times of tragedy?
Funny how the biggest boundaries, are merely lines in sand you see.
My actions speak, not my possessions, thats my kind of vanity.
Amazing how true self respect, can change ones life dramatically.

Power Corrupts

2011-11-27T13:13:00.000-05:00

The more that you love someone
The more they wield power over you
If you love more then they do
Their pedestal will tower over you
For most, looking down upon people
Develops delusions of grandeur
Over time it spreads thru ones soul
Eating the good between 2 like a cancer
So dont just give give and give
You better make sure that you take
And no its not being selfish
Its just self-respect cant be faked
Never let anyone ever believe
That you couldnt live without them
Whether your mother or your lover
Let a small part of you doubt them
If you feel sure of someone else
Then thats straight tempting the fates
To tear your heart from your chest
At light speed or other exceptional rates

Ive known

2011-11-25T14:07:00.002-05:00

Ive known great pain that is true, but I have also known amazing & awe inspiring love. Everyone who lives gets to know pain to varying degrees but not everyone comes in contact with genuine love. People miss out on so much great stuff due to fear of pain. By not being afraid of my own feelings I am inherently mentally tougher than most, ironic isnt it?
Even when the love makes me vulnerable & hurt like nothing else can do, I am always thankful that I have taken the risk.

If by Kipling

2011-11-21T22:17:00.003-05:00

I write poetry but have never really enjoyed reading it. This however is my favorite poem ever that I didnt write myself. It is epic to say the least.

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Eskay Lyrics As Wisdom [LAW]

2011-11-20T13:54:00.002-05:00

This mans never trapped or tame, cause I adapt my game.
And so you wont hear one who raps the same.
So its obvious, the facts are plain, I never spat for fame.
And no Ive never needed gats Im strapped with brains.

- from This Is My Dream

Another Proverb in Need of a Tune-up

2011-11-18T01:06:00.002-05:00

Money is the root of all evil.

No......people and their pursuit of money may be the root in modern society...oh and money is a man made invention by the way so either way..... it aint money that is the problem.

And it never was. Its always been us. Some wise man I cant recall off tHe top of my head once said that hell is other people.
Can you argue with that?

Phacebook Philosophy

2011-11-13T20:03:00.002-05:00

If you dont choose to own your mistakes then your mistakes own you.

Compartmentalized Contemplation...

2011-11-04T14:39:00.000-04:00

I particularly enjoy when people who get caught doing you wrong then get angry that you hold them responsible for their actions. Heres a tip for those kind of people out there, and you fuckers know who you are admit it or not - If you want to try and use righteous indignation then you first have to be right.

Phacebook Philosophy

2011-11-02T12:04:00.000-04:00

If fear is the motivating factor in your life you are condemned to always live in a prison of your own making no matter how successful you may become or how many goals you may set and accomplish.

Bob Ross Inspired Buddha Zennism

2011-11-01T15:34:00.002-04:00

Ya know the old cliche about how life isnt black and white? Well I hate to burst some pragmatists bubbles, even if only for a second, but life actually IS black and white.....how so you may wonder. Well when you continuously blend black and white what do you get?.......What you get is every single shade of grey imaginable

WTF is wrong with tv programmers?

2011-10-31T11:24:00.003-04:00

All Halloween week not a single paid movie channel has shown the best movie of the season - john carpenters original Halloween. Cinemax showed four hitchcock films last night and twice today including Psychos one and two. Immediately therefter they show Carpenters Halloween 2. So you show the sequel alone? Only amc channel showed it and thats a channel with commercial AND a fuckin amc decal in the bottom and a walking dead countdown in the top right corner. THATS what I hafta deal with? What the fuck i wrong with these peoples synapses? Lol. For shame cable...for shame!

Buddha Zennism

2011-10-20T20:08:00.001-04:00

The easy way is rarely right, and thus I stay prepared to fight.

Some - A Perpetual Poem

2011-10-19T11:02:00.001-04:00

Some are crazy
Some are sane
Some are distinct
Some are plain
Some are strong
Some are lame
Some seek fortunes
Some seek fame
Some are wild
Some are tame
Some use liquid
Some use flame
Some love snow
Some love rain
Some use muscle
Some use brain
Some have talent
Some must train
Some go ahead
Some refrain
Some seek pleasure
Some seek pain
Some are nympho
Some abstain
Some will come
Some will go
Some pretend
Some youll know
Some are rough
Some just flow
Some must catch
Some must throw
Some stand tall
Some dont grow
Some are dull
Some just glow
Some are to
Some are fro
Some are fast
Some are slow
Some stay dry
Some hydro
Some get high
Some get low
Some must lead
Some follow
Some are not
Some are though
Some seem normal
Some are weird
Some are respected
Some are feared
Some are one level
Some are multi-tiered
Some are hated
Some are endeared
Some do the learing
Some get leared
Some remained
Some disappeared
Some have equals
Some cant be peered
Some are just
Some are mere
Some good ones left
Some are here
Some are non-grata
Some are dear
Some are confused
Some are clear
Some are polished
Some are smeared
Some receive real love
Some are just revered
Some are dying
Some are being born
Some smell the rose
Some get the thorn
Some have it requited
Some feel the scorn
Some never see the dark
Some never see the dawn
Some push it forward
Some must be drawn
Some drink the grain
Some smoke the lawn
Some are the knight
Some are the pawn

Islands of Darkness

2011-10-11T13:38:00.000-04:00

Light casts out the darkness
That envelops and embraces everything
But light needs to come from a generating source
Darkness is simply the natural state of being, existing
However, nothing good can live or grow for long in Darkness
Without first having been bred of the light from the Tower
Yet light, no matter how dim nor how dazzling, also casts shadows
And thus creates its own small Islands of Darkness
Since darkness is the natural state, yet it is where
Nothing noble can thrive or progress, nor live very long
It is far better to endure the small Islands of Darkness
One at a time, as opposed to an all encompassing
Blanket of Blackness . . . . . . .

Fragmentated Ponderation

2011-10-06T16:50:00.001-04:00

Every stone a detractor has thrown at me in life has been used as a stepping stone for moving forward and making progress.

Buddha Zennism

2011-09-27T19:32:00.001-04:00

In the land of morons, run by idiots, the wise man is the leper.....

A Dying Breed

2011-09-19T18:02:00.002-04:00

For most peple nothing bad nor good for that matter is a big deal unless its happening to them. No injustice is a big deal unless it occurs directl to them. Except for heroes, heroes take it personal when anyone is done an injustice. The problem for the heroes is that heroes are no longer revered and respected by mainstream society, now they are resented and reviled by the mainstream. Heroes have become an endangered species. Beware.

Fall From Grace

2011-09-19T15:50:00.000-04:00

Being noble and honorable is the most slippery of pedestals.
Staying on its a matter of balance, falling off helps get the skill.
Many have tried to knock Me off but none succeed and never will.
Many men have worn thirteens, but my shoes not a set could fill.
I wont say Im the better man, but will say I behave that way.
Cool under pressure, been the hero, did my thing to save the day.
Parts of Me remain with others, but hearts and souls are gave away.
That is how its meant to be to live a life thats paid for play.
Unharmed isnt how we grow, greatness comes thru bumps and bruises.
For most of us who seek a cushion that is what the blunts and booze is.
Do your best, follow instincts, dont accept what the gut refuses.
If so-called friends really arent so then walk away say fuck those losers.
The first time such things happen, theyre always hard to deal with.
You must take it in, embrace it in a way, to let it go you must feel it.
It never fully disappears but for the most part time will heal it.
Just be glad that something came along that happened to reveal it.
I'm not like most and dont care much if I suffer loss of face.
I'm never fake nor live pretend with unfit things forced in place.
In my past I've hit the bottom, and all was lost with loss of faith.
I learned the most important lessons within and from my fall from grace.

Declaration

2011-07-13T01:13:00.000-04:00

My words will breed creation,
Past my date of expiration.
Im unique in comtemplation.
As well as in my soul formation.
I dont deal in degradation.
Or the ignorant persuasion.
I partake in conversation,
With the finest combination,
Of humans Black or White Caucasian,
Who deserve high acclamation,
Yet receive the defamation,
Of those who seek our affirmation.
Those that lack self-motivation,
Miss the living education.
Not the schools denomination.
That academic deformation,
Feeds intellectual starvation.
To reverse the situation,
Is the largest complication,
Since the ignorant sit stationed,
In their weak hallucination.
They all try false justification,
To halt enlightened application.
Let them have their speculation,
And their underestimation.
The good emit illumination.
The bright avoid contamination.
I bring my words in escalation,
They defuse my detonation,
So I take my aggravation,
Turn it into declaration.
So all can see the separation,
I point this out no hesitation.
And its merely explanation,
Of what Ive seen in exploration,
Of this human vegetation.

More Non-Eskay Lyrics of Wisdom

2011-05-30T19:31:00.004-04:00

Im gonna be what I set out to be, without a doubt, undoubtedly, and all those who look down on me, Im tearing down your balcony, no ifs ands or buts, dont try to ask him why or how could he....?

-- Eminem "Im Not Afraid"

Stream of Konsciousness 16

2011-05-24T13:31:00.000-04:00

I maintain complex frame of mind
Its quite unique, none same youll find
Ive never been the tamer kind
And never been to fate resigned
My soul is strong, I do decree
For those who have no clue of me
And that is all 'cept few who be
True to themselves, thus true to me
Ive seen the highs & seen the lows
Absorbed all lifes repeated blows
Dont budge an inch nor flee from foes
Wont live within deceit or pose
I must refute their webs of lies
So much of what Ive said's despised
They wish that I would blend disguised
But thats just not me, I tend to rise

Compartmentalized Conception....

2011-05-23T00:30:00.002-04:00

Know what a very very good and on-point metaphor is; the old one about something being "the straw that broke the camels back". See the important thing of that cliche/proverb isnt just that shit built up on the camels back til it broke, the important thing to take from the saying is that the stuff that built up to become heavy enough to do that was comprised of many little and very light things over time, and over that time so many straws added up to become too much weight to carry. Thats how I feel in life a lot, the big things I handle no problem, with grace under pressure, coming thru in the clutch, but every so often the little things add up and I want to friggin explode. I like to remind people this by saying it this way: remember it wasnt bricks or boulders that broke the camels back..."

Cold

2011-05-22T23:38:00.000-04:00

Things and people change
The world will rearrange
Long times of deepest strains
Have left Me feeling strange

Compared to ways I had been living
I dont live in anger, but Im not forgiving
Maybe I'll return as the world is spinning
For now Ive turned cold from what Im given

And you couldnt blame Me if you only knew
Of half the stuff that Ive been thru
To live life with honor, yet to self be true
A one man gang who knows no crew

And has no love to light the way
So fed up with life I fight for play
I may write but not the type to say
So cold Im froze like ice today

Standards & Maintenance

2011-05-22T14:50:00.003-04:00

Every so often one should do a spring cleaning type of deal with people and relationships in their lives. I do. If someone is just dead weight or brings nothing positive to the table of a friendship, or whatever type of relationship, then I get the fuck rid of them. I give them time & opportunity to show me something and I extend myself to whatever extent I find fitting, but if they dont show anything worth sticking around for then I drop them like a bad habit. Respect I give comes in the form of an hourglass with sand inside. When I meet someone they have a certain amount of short-term respect and theyre given time to earn respect and have me turn the glass back over or get rid of the need for it. But if they do nothing respect worthy thereafter and sand runs out then they get dropped. And I hope people examine their relationships with me the same way. If you love and respect yourself then you have to be good to yourself just as you would for someone else you really care about. Having no standards of who you allow into your life is the worst habit one can possibly have. And being family doesnt mean shit in my world. You reap what you sow with me, regardless of blood or matching last names. A crude but apt metaphor fits here perfectly; Lay down with dogs and you will wake up with fleas. And if you find yourself getting dropped all the time by good people - or dropping them first because you KNOW they will be dropping you - then you should take a good look in the mirror. Do better by yourself and others will do better by you too.

Stream of Konsciousness 11

2011-05-21T14:23:00.000-04:00

My lifes pain is insane

Its like a flame in my vein

But Im maintaining my aim

My hearts remaining the same

Im never tame with my brain

And need no fame to proclaim

Im just not plain like a jane

Nor am I lame with my game

Also not vain though I reign

Pain brings gain when I train

My words refrain leave you slain

Theyre off the chain, against grain

And leave your cranium changed

Minds rearranged from the strains

Straight up I aint been a Saint

Im from the range of the strange

Im out my cage from the rage

The verbs I stage need no page

From my changes with age

Im higher gauge of a sage.

Proverbs In Need Of A Tune-Up

2011-05-19T22:26:00.002-04:00

Ya know the old "2 sides to a story" one? Yeahhhhh...but no.
It should read:

There are two, or more, sides to every story, however there is only a single truth.

Eskaystentialism

2011-05-10T13:37:00.003-04:00

Lifes relationships - and yes I mean those of every single being capable of having relationships - are like a garden. If they arent cultivated and cared for, nurtured over time, given water and light but not too much or little of either, enough shade and minerals but again not too much or too little of either. Thats why life is in actuality so easy - yet so damn difficult in practice for so many people through out all of human existence. Patience and objective vision towards the long term are not strong points for many people. Its too bad because socially speaking life really is that simple. Its only a basic outline but thats life, only outlines can apply to everybody, once you get close enough and into the details then everyone has a situation unique to them. So take care of your relationships, well your 50 percent of them anyway, because if you neglect them, forget them or over-do it on feeding and watering then they will die. And while you can always begin to grow a new garden, say thankya this much is true, but you can never, not fuckin ever, re-grow the same exact plants once they have died. So if you love a realtionship you must take good care of it always. Its perpetual work but if its a good relationship then there is never a question that it is worth all the effort and trouble and sacrifice made and given.

On The Flip Side.....

2011-05-10T13:19:00.003-04:00

Is where I am coming to you from. Exactly where I said I would catch you at a later time. And here we are at a later time, yes indeed I am prophetic ;)
Anyway here I am back to write super-sensilble non-sense because Im bored and most often seem to write when my hatred for life burns the hottest.
Nevertheless I digress. I have to make note that Conan has been back on the air with his tbs show for a bit over 6 months now since november, and he is kicking ass and doing super well. He is more popular then ever and has turned himself into a brand and household name. And though I have an infallible sense of american history, especially american TV history I have to say I am glad Conan didnt stay with the tonight show. Ever since Leno took it over from carson that show has been irrelevant and actively un-funny, that brand died many years ago in my opinion. The show was still well watched because older generations have watched it forever and will continue to do so as long as they have corny humor and can lift a remote control. But the timne for that generation of people is quickly fading now and has very little time left. The Generation X-ers as we were dubbed by some jackasss are now solidifying the spot as the prominent age braket on the planet. And its funny too cause Conan is a perfect blend for both generations in my opinion, he can relate to baby boomers and also Gen X-ers. The tonight show just isnt cutting edge anymore and hasnt been since even before carson retred. That show did its thing for many years but that era has passed. Conan has been on air since 93 so dont be surprised as though hes a newcomer taking the crown that has been abdicated for so long. Conan is creating a new chapter thats all his own in not just late night tv but general tv history. Anyhow of course my cell just went off breaking my writers trance and halting the brief but nice flow I had going so Im just gonna call this one a post because the point has been made and there aint never been a need to beat a dead horse. But I broke the ice to write something now and thats good cause the most apt metaphor for my writing style is that when it rains...it pours.

Stream of Konsciousness 13

2011-04-20T21:04:00.000-04:00

we dont see the same
thats known as perception
we all seek the same
thats known as affection
we hurt from the same
thats known as deception
we work towards the same
thats known as perfection
we hope for our own
thats known as selection
we think for our own
thats known as conception
we want for our own
thats known as connection
we fight for our own
thats known as protection
maintaining my course
towards my destination
increased my minds force
within lifes education
since its deep like a gorge
for all I've preparation
and its fires have forged
Me without trepidation
in many more ways
I have been blessed
the lesson that stays
is that Ive yet to crest
I seek not the praise
though enjoy it professed
past the end of my days
my words leave Me expressed

The Towers Door

2011-01-19T01:19:00.000-05:00

See the door?
Its painted black.
Could it be more
Then bolt and latch?
More a portal
Then is an exit.
Make one immortal
In ways perplexing.
Not just wood.
Not mere nails.
For bad or good
Reveal ones tales.
It starts a path,
No end in sight.
Its depths are vast
Outreaching light.
For every person,
These doors exist.
Seek out your version
No cease no desist.

CONAN Finally Got Back on TV.... for ten minutes

2010-05-02T19:56:00.002-04:00

So Conans "no interview" clause of his seperation agmt with enbeesee finally ran up, literally today, and CBS was right on the ball having secured and shot an interview with Conan last week and waiting to air it until today. When I say waiting though, I literallly mean waiting - due to enbeesee's rigid attempt at preventing their company from looking any worse - CBS and 60 Minutes could not even air a shot of Conan for the commercial!!! Hello, seem a bit overboard to anyone? I dont mean no soundbites either I mean they could not visually show Conan on a comme3rcial until earlier today, the air-date of the show. Crazy....enbeesee knows theyre assholes and cant help but coming off as even bigger assholes. Not only did they show no business sense or understanding of the big picture in this deal but they showed that they have no fuckin loyalty in the least, theyre a thoroughly heartless company. Now most companies are semi- or even mostly heartless but they have some sense of loyalty. Or at the very least they understand that a public showing of utter disloyalty will hurt their image - and thus business - in the long run. Enbeesee was too dumb to even do that. Now if they didnt want Conan there or if they werent ready to split jay lame-O from the tonight show then they shouldnt have offered it to Conan 5 years previous. I mean seems logical right? And if yopu reralize before the change that you dont wanna do it then the right and sensible thing to do is behind the scenes negotiate with Conan for postponement or something. But see they offered Conan that successorship so that he would not go to another network. Now they did that because Conan got to be such a big time celebrity and has a huge following that continues to grow everyday (even now since hes been off the sir he has done his tour, been the center of a scandal he didnt cause, and shown his class and loyalty to his staff - so when he gets his show on TBS up and going - in September, well hes gonna show just why enbeesee offered him the tonight show originally and hes gonna make them feel real real dumb and short-sighted. And they should feel those ways because thats how the brass over there is. But his non-disparaging clause was still in effect towards that other network and jay lame-o so he didnt speak freely - but Conan is plenty intelligent enough and has a way with words enough that he always got his point across. When asked if lame-o acted honorably he just took in and let out a loud loud heavy breath and looked down...he then said (Im paraphrasing) "well I cant really answer that but I can tell you what I would have done, and that is definitely not what he [lame-o] did.... but thats just me, everyones got their own way of doing things - if I had publicly handed over this show and wished him well I would not have taken it back regardless".
You should def youtube the interview if youre a Conan fan, he is funny, self-depricating as always and honest and open even though he guards his words carefully, not many people are genuinely open and honest when they actually are saying what they want to say.......Watch for Conan show on TBS this September at 11 on weeknights! Oh and I actually had tried twitter out when it first started and found I didnt like it but since Conan started his account I have started up a new account for myself and follow him thru there. Im so glad he did it, I dont think I would make it thru all this time with no Conan at all.... CAUSE HES THE FUNNIEST FUCKIN GUY ON TV!!!! Team CoCo botches!!! Mutha fukkrs betta recognize!! Lol

Non-Eskay Lyrics of Wisdom

2010-04-24T15:17:00.002-04:00

People fear what they cant understand, hate what they cant conquer, guess its just the fury of man...........

Nas - Hate Me Now

More Facebook Philosophy....

2010-04-12T20:03:00.001-04:00

When man is a good and moral man, as well as being a fighter, he must find his release in battling evil & injustice each & every place he comes upon them.....

Unrequited

2010-04-06T01:38:00.001-04:00

Unrequited
Unreturned
Son thats slighted
Sun thats burned
Done to fight it
Done to learn
Unconfided
Unconcerned

In Absentia Remix

2010-04-06T01:38:00.000-04:00

What is there to do when your whole life has left?
Gone at once, in a flash God committed her theft.
Nothing is to be done but sit back and accept,
Be humbled to the core, but maintain self-respect.
The fact is that why? Has not been the question.
Theyve been "who" and "when" upon introspection.
And thats not to mention, the times of reflection,
Trying to figure the minds memory selection.
Majorly reconstructed, fixed the chink in my armor.
Forced not to move, could it get that much harder?
Of course I wondered why this was my karma.
So I set myself to the task of healing my trauma.
Right ceased to exist, I only saw wrong and wronger.
I went thru hell and back but came out of it stronger.
The fires tempered my steel, not the same any longer.
Some dirt sticks to souls no matter how much you launder.
And if I could somehow re-do it, that wouldnt be done.
The path that I have trekked has formed who Ive become.
Try to find a better man, you will come across none.
My old life was taken, the evolution's begun.

Facebook Philosophy - People are Fuckin Ingrates

2010-03-27T12:14:00.000-04:00

These assholes and ingrates dont hafta give me my due respect, I dont need it given by anyone, it would just be nice and the right thing for them to do. My actions command respect regardless and when the situation dictates the need for it then I just take it in front of their face. And if they dont pat me on the back now and then as deserved then I will do it myself. Credit where credit is due and all. I do very considerate and often-times incredible shit for people on the regular basis that they just dont appreciate - theyre so used to me doing special things they take it for all granted, as though its easy for me and like i fuckin owe them something. Well the unappreciative fux can kiss those amazing things goodbye now. See how ya feel when youre stuck lookin around for superman but clark kent is still standing there whistling.......

From Whence You Came

2010-03-21T20:45:00.002-04:00

In order to realize where it is you are,
You must know from whence you came.
Being older doesnt mean youve gone far,
No, those two are just not the same.
So leave the world a better place,
And dont expect any gratitude,
Do it to help, with humility & grace,
Then success will seep thru to your attitude.
So keep in mind, what once was home,
Thats how from a boy, the man is grown.
Thus no matter where you may roam,
Within your soul, youve attained the throne...

Fragmented Thought: Things I Simply Can Not Deal With in Any Realistic Portrayal In Any Artistic Medium

2010-03-15T15:05:00.001-04:00

The brutalization of women whether is visual medium or written mediums whether its srtictly violent or sexual or both. I just can lt do it. It doesnt just turn my stmoach... It kills a part of my soul to see or read any realistic detailed description of such violence. I shudder just thinkin of it now alone in my apartment. And that same goes for children of course tho ive never come across a detailed description of sexual violence done upon a child, especially not in tv or film - books hav gotten a bit more detailed then that in my literary travels but still even the grimy books will show results and detachedly tell how such injuries arose.
And we all know why that is.", if its a man brutalizing another man its not ok but understandable- hell its natural, mating rams butt heads for the woman, but still to to see or know of a child or woman being sexually and/or violently brutalized is just beyond hell.
Those are the things that I just will never put up with in this world.... I may not call the cops and perhaps I wouldnt kill, but justice is responsibly dealt out in a variety of ways within human society........and when I put my mind to something evil people in my scope ought to be very very very scared. But fear not my good people since I naturally put my mind to the good and apply as much in zealous in those ideas and actions............. ; )

Waxing Facebookosophical (Fancy Facebook Philosophy Word Play N'est ce pas" LOL)

2010-02-22T20:26:00.003-05:00

True gratitude and appreciation can never be conveyed thru words.

Multimedia Master Mobi-Blogs

2010-02-06T14:36:00.004-05:00

Well i know ive said that we are missin a lot of the futuristic stuff that those of us 30 or older had been taught to expect by 2010. But i must say, some of our tech is ahead of our time and futuristic. I now have two itouches and a playstation three. My best friend got me the newest generation of itouch this past christmas and my fam got the ps3 for me this past birthday, my 30th. (If I hadnt received the 3 then id have bought it for myself the very next weekend!) I went way too long with a vid game system. I had my old ps2 for 5 or 6 years and obvoiusly over that time i got very used to its workings and functions. And it was a fantasic machine, certainly ahead of its time for the mainstream tech in 2001 or 2002. But what an incredible upgrade the PS3 has proved to be!! Besides playin amazing video games and dvd playin and internet connection with downloading capabilities, all stuff that had become available on the two but for the 3 all of those aspects are way advanced and stepped up compared to the deuces similar programs. Sick, and of couse there were all new additions and improvements, - it also plays blue ray movies, and has wireless remotes standard that can also turn the system on and it has a sleep mode that the 2 never had. Its a multimedia hub unto itself. Thats some ill shit. Think of how far the tech has gone in the last 20 to 30 years. Im typin this right now on my iTouch, the touch screen iPod. Basically other then saving files directly to the ipod itself, this thing is a mini touch screen palm-top computer! Of course it also holds thousands of songs and hours of video and hundreds of thousands of pictures plus tons of itunes applications that are good for more things then one can think of off the top of their head. i connect to the net like any wireless comp and the tune/vid playback is top notch!! I love watchin vid on the touch. Its fuckin sick. The video sound is crazy crisp too. I have like 20 hours of LOST to watch on it and It all gets play. Hell im literally sitting in front of my desktop comp right now as i type on the touch. Its background, if i look over the top of the touch its the first thing I see. Lol but im comfy as is, typin in landscape with the iTouch fitting perfectly into the contours of my hands , head straight - no need to crane my neck up or down, I just put the palm-top computer wherever is comfortable for me. Ah its a thing of beauty. Okay so maybe flying cars is asking a bit much still. I mean hey obviously the Jetsons was a cartoon that was supposed to be the distant future right? But its starting to seem as though perhaps the robot maid isnt all that far off now after all.... Lol. We'll see, you know the progress is gonna keep going. I wonder what the next big breakthrough will be.......

2010 Has Arrived.....With an Ominous Sign?

2010-01-01T00:12:00.002-05:00

All I have to say is that the number 13 was definitely not included in dick clarks countdown, it wasnt spoken or shown on screen. What the hell was that? Thats my number. I was born the 13th day of the new year, its all me. Should I be taking this as an ominous sign for the decade to come?

Happy friggin new year. Two thousand ten still sounds like the future to me.....

Fragmented Thought

2009-11-24T20:54:00.002-05:00

One of the best parts of not being a kid is not having a kid.

Words of Wisdom (I have many what can I say? lol)

2009-11-24T20:52:00.005-05:00

One can sell ones own hype, or shape ones own hype, one can even hype ones own hype....but one should never, never ever buy into ones own hype

Words of Wisdom

2009-08-30T15:12:00.002-04:00

Your emotions do not make you vulnerable, only your fear of them does.

2009-08-05T20:56:00.001-04:00

As a boy I used to be filled with righteous indignation. Now I'm chock full of righteous apathy. The pros and cons of the two actually balance oddly enough.

2009-07-26T16:11:00.001-04:00

Now i can blog directly from my phone - no need for wifi or anything. Not bad - another step forward. 20 Years ago the world was a lot bigger place.

Im Back........ Welcome to Facebook Philosophy

2009-06-24T21:17:00.004-04:00

First off, I stand by every word of my last blog except for the single word "obviously" but thats the only exception....as I said I didnt know if I would leave the site for sure at that point and then I found today that although the site lost my writing when I tried to publish, it had emailed the entirety of my writing to my email account - so here I be yet again. Thats not to say I might not have returned anyway but its just what happened.

Now for Facebook Philosophy, it aint a sarcastic title, Im not pulling stupid peoples sayings and thoughts out here....though now that I think of it that might make a good blog series unto itself, but thats for another time, this series entitled Facebook Philosophy is me pulling my own words, some of my best lines come out in one liners or quick thoughts and thus often times they wind up as myspace or facebook status updates, I just happen to be using facebook more right now and since many more actually communicate on there I usually post my deep thoughts by vin handey on there.

First installment in this series:

"if someone u love does u wrong, ya gotta hit em where it hurts, metaphorically speaking, and let them know that no matter how much you may love them, you love yourself more and wont put up with that shit."

"havin a big heart is no good if ya dont balance it with your head."

"Ya cant command love....but ya can command respect"

Fuck Google Blogger This Site Is A Fucking Piece Of Shit

2009-06-21T20:06:00.002-04:00

I just lost 4 hours of writing because this fucking bullshit cocksucking site didnt autosave the drafts as it said it was. So I dunno if I will be coming back to this place. Theres a good chance I wont return so I will just tell this site and its fucking designers to go fuck themselves and drop dead. Fuck you Blogger, youre obviously not worthy of my level of writing any longer.

Eskay The Philosopher

2009-02-23T19:50:00.000-05:00

A title endowed upon me by my good friend Brendan Ancona, who we lost over seven years ago...each day is another reminder that he is one of the very few people who got what I was all about.... just wanted to let that be known because it matters very much to me... anyhow heres more words to remind you people just how I earned said nickname, as always they are Eskay originals - theyre not my best one liners but they are food for thought nevertheless........

Knowledge is power and right makes might so Im pretty much set for life

My minds eye is a blue you cant even fathom....

Your focus needs focus, your thought needs more thought, your love needs more love

The Future Continues.......

2009-01-02T13:30:00.002-05:00

Two Thousand and Nine huh? Shit 2001 still sounds like the future to Me personally. But hey, it is what it is. Im a child of the future. I was born in 1980, arguably the last "primative" decade. Though in its defense it wasnt really a primative decade as a whole but the first half or more of it was. Ya know something cool, if you split the year we are in into two seperate 2 digit numbers, for example split 2009 in 20 and 09 - and then add them up you will always get the age someone born in 80 will turn that year. Forever, until we die. Anyway back to the point that yes the 80's was kinda primative. In the 90's came the computer boom, the internet, cell phones and gps and all that shit. The world became a much smaller place very very suddenly. Like right now I could go to my myspace page and do a friend search for women in Sweden. Like how awesome is that, then if I meet one I can open another tab in internet explorer and buy an airline ticket from any airline dot com. Its really sick. Oh and dont forget ipods and of course my precious iTouch. When I have wifi that little 3 inch crystal clear and crisp screen is the same as having a touch screen laptop and it might be the best invention since the fuckin wheel. But alas, I digress. So anyway I will be turning 29 in 11 days now. Its weird. Very weird. Since Im very young Ive always been so old in mind and young in heart - like a philosophical Benjamin Button (Holler - good ass movie) so to see the final year of my 20's approaching is, well just strange. I dont view it negatively for the most part. I mean Ive been in my prime for like 10 years already and I still see at least another 15 prob 20 years of prime ahead. I keep in great shape and my mind - now that I found its peace - is ageless, its old and young at once - the man and the boy both live within. Its very cool, a very exciting time. Lifes at a big transition point right now - and I mean big, works picking up, I have a real deal love life again for the first time in a long time (as opposed to just a sex life) and suddenly it actually became complicated as well, I didnt see that coming. In the family aspect of life Im taking care of someone - both fiscally and looking after them, yet Im not married and have no child of my own. Crazy times, but luckily Im much crazier. My life was nothing but harsh realities for a long time and suddenly the scales shifted and landed in my favor. Turns out though it was sudden, it wasnt spontaneous, all the good things that came my way this year are things I earned. Things I had coming, my karma....ka if ya know from which I speak. So I look back fondly on 2008 and bid it adieu and I welcome 2009, I think this year may turn out to be the year where everything changes even more and on a larger level. But we shall see, time will tell, it always does. And so the future continues on until it becomes the past again.......

Another Example of Most People Missing the Obvious

2008-12-29T12:40:00.002-05:00

When the subject of children comes up and I mention that I dont want kids everyone automatically objects to this or tells me that I will change my mind. Im sorry, did someone give these people a dvd of everything Ive seen and done in my life to know why I have come to that decision? Did I turn into Truman over night and miss the show? And people ask why? Like because I dont - my trust issues and issues with mankind and life are my own issues, and if they were your business then youd know them already now wouldnt ya? right. Anyway I find it funny that people ask me why i dont wanna have kids but none of these dumb fucks stop to ask themselves (nor others) why they DO want kids? Do you think it will fill that gap of loneliness in your heart? Do you want to make a legacy to last beyond your years? Do you just feel useless and do nothing well in this world so you figure youll have a kid? And the most important question: do you understand the depths of the job which you would be signing up for? Most of you dont even fathom it, even after you have kids. So stop asking Me why not and start asking yourselves why. Stop being so afraid to look into yourself and discover what you really feel. Its annoying and really pathetic. So stop your psychological displacement and stop expecting me to want the same crap out of life that you want. Maybe then youll actually get to know yourself and understand me a little. Otherwise you can beat it and be sure take your annoying ass kid and your ignorance with you.

Spider-Man: A True Hero Among Superheroes - Part II

2008-12-15T23:30:00.000-05:00

First things first - this is the second part of Me extolling the many virtues of the superhero Peter Parker aka Spider-Man and expressing why I feel hes the best comic hero and role model type of figure for kids, so I recommend if you didnt read part one then go ahead and get that done, I mean this is really the disjointed conclusion of that anyhow. So go on, I'll wait - Im not going anywhere, well at least the words Im typing arent going anywhere.

All set? Cool

Okay so I touched on great power bringing great responsibility, as well as what happened to teach him to use his powers to help people, and why kids can relate to Peter so well. And thats where I'll pick it up - why kids make a stronger connection to Spidey then any other superhero. First and foremost, Peter goes to school, he is attending high school when he gets his powers and still goes on to college while working his job with the newspaper. Not many superheroes have ever been going to school while also doing the masked superhero thing, I cant think of any off the top of my head - shit even Robin didnt ever set foot in a school, and hes only a sidekick, what kind of youthful ward doesnt go to school? Seriously? Anyway. Unlike Batman, Superman, or any other superhero you can think of, Spidey also has genuine normal people problems to attend to while he continually saves lives, and the city of New York in general. He grew up as part of the middle class in Forest Hills, Queens and like many people he has normal family and friends to worry about. His Aunt May is an elderly woman and he has dealt with most of the regular issues that any of us who have older people to look after face. Money issues, health issues - both emotional and physical, he even had to deal with his Aunts problems in adjusting to her old age and accepting the help she needs. Plus, Peter has an academic career to manage as well as a job that he sometimes actually has to fear losing. I dont ever recall anyone threatening Clark Kents job because he missed a meeting or deadline. And what the fuck does Batman do with his free time? When did they ever have to worry about failing a test at school? Ya know what Im saying? Spidey has girlfriend - and later wife - issues, family issues, money issues, school and career/money issues, not to mention severe guilt issues especially regarding the situation with the criminal who killed his Uncle Ben. The beautiful fire haired Mary Jane (yum) is Peters girl (eventually wife) and though shes a good and understanding woman (more so once she knows Peter is Spidey) they still have relationship problems like any couple does. Being together is hard enough without the worrying that comes with your husband being a superhero. Except for cheating (which doesnt happen to everyone) Ive seen basically every other argument come up between Pete and MJ. You never hear Lois Lane telling Superman that he should give up being Superman or that he just isnt spending enough time with her, or that her biological clock is ticking. And yes the issues always get resolved, like life its not always for the better though because Spidey isnt a hokey read thankfully - but whatever happens they deal with it, as individuals and also as a pair. And these are all normal topics in Spidey comics, some details may change and such but these are some of the perpetually underlying issues that Peter must deal with while maintaining the responsibilities of a superhero in the busiest city in the world. I bet Spidey has considerably more literary value then you would have thought. He's a little more than just a dude in a funky outfit right?
Now like I said, Peter has a job. He is a photographer for one of the major NYC papers in the Marvel Universe named the Daily Bugle. Now the real kicker is that the editor in chief of the paper is a fuckin hardheaded moron who has a vendetta against Spidey for no good reason. So on a regular basis, Peter is libeled and bad-mouthed by the very paper he works for. Spider-Man is villainized by the paper at every chance the editor gets. Oh the irony. But its something he just has to deal with, whats he gonna do about it. Kids have to deal with the gossip and slander train no matter where you live or what school they go to, or what city they live in. Well Spidey has to deal with it too, and hes fuckin Spider-Man! Not only does he deal with it, and the many villains who try to kill him, but he deals with them while maintaining his sense of humor about all of it. Any comic connoisseur knows that Spidey is the un-fuckin-disputed king of one-liners and zingers. Spidey is the Henny Youngman of s.h.'s. He's well known for his in battle dis comedy - talking about the villains horrible outfit or stupidity, its a Spidey calling card. Often times he has to laugh off his friends or fam bad mouthing Spidey. Thats harsh living when even his friends and loved ones dont always appreciate Peter and often have no appreciation for Spidey. He gives quite a lot and gets very little. He knows he cant expect gratitude for much of it but to be defamed for all the effort and sacrifice is very difficult. And even with those issues he just keeps crackin jokes on them. There are plenty of things in life that draw such emotion that if you dont cry about them, you have to laugh it out, but either way, ya gotta deal with it, and Peter does. Life doesnt stop for you no matter who you are or what you do. The boy grew into a man, and he didnt need any super powers to do it either. Thats just "another one to grow on" as some stupid commercials from the 80's used to say.
So I guess that ultimately Spidey is the best superhero to Me because his life was the most like mine of any hero out there. There are still some crazy parallels between his fiction and my reality both back then and now, and I stopped reading Spidey on a regular basis about ten years ago. Yet if youre reading this you surely notice that I still carry a lot of Spidey in my heart on my journey through life. And believe Me there are many other fans out there who will read this and be nodding their heads the whole time even though they never consciously thought of this stuff in the way that I have articulated it. But believe Me, kids pick up on all these things. They relate to Peter. And if you feel a real connection to a hero, well then to you its not so unrealistic that you yourself could be a real life hero in someones life and do extraordinary things. I still relate to Peter and Im 27. If you dont relate to his life directly then you can at least relate to his problems. He has to go to school, keep a job, pay bills while and all while keeping his family and wife happy. Oh yeah and thats all against the back drop of being New Yorks greatest superhero. Never the less he still has to live the Peter Parker side of his life ya know. So if you ever wanna provide a young kid with fun reading and on top of that a positive influence that they connect with and wont tune out, then go and put some money in my main man Stan Lees pocket and pick up the latest issue of his greatest creation. He's earned it. Cause in the fictional world, who's better for kids to idolize then a smart hero with a great sense of humor who lives according to the words "with great power comes great responsibility"?
There aint none better.

Long days and pleasant nights

Breakthrough with the Niece and the Work Ahead

2008-12-05T22:14:00.003-05:00

So my niece Mia, aka MiMi (pronounced Me Me) just started speaking late this summer/early this fall. And she warmed up to Me considerably once she started talking. But she had always been very stand offish. Now my nephew James has always been his uncles boy right from the start, but let Me point out that I didnt show preferential treatment, nor did I spend more times with James, thats just how each twin reacted to Me. And theyre allowed, they are their own people no matter how old they are. I never took MiMi being that way personally in the least. But last weekend I got home on Firday from work and the kids were downstairs in my mothers apartment and they saw Me comin thru the window so they were ready. And for the first time MiMi ran up to Me at full speed, only stopped cause my legs stopped her in her tracks and she hugged Me tightly, screaming "Unka Veeny". James came up a few seconds later and joined the mish mash of course but Mia set it off, and since then shes been even warmer with Me then she became once she began to talk. It really touched my heart cause even tho Im not their father, Im the man in their lives, I am going to be the one helping them with their homework, and giving them advice, and supporting them even when they make mistakes because the choice is theirs to make. I know youre likely thinking that that aint what the man in your life did.
Well there was no man at all in my life mostly and when he was he def didnt do any of that. But thats just it, I want better for them and I am willing to work for it and sacrifice for it. Some people must struggle thru hardships to make it to their highest potential, like myself. But I dont want that for my niece and nephew and as long as I have breath in my body I will do everything I can to ensure that they are smart and self-aware enough to learn from others mistakes as much as possible. They will face their hardships, I know that perfectly well, but I went thru Hell and back multiple times emotionally, and I write that in all honesty and sincerity. But my niece and nephew, theyre gonna be able to look back and know that they were supported and loved and taught the way the world works. And ultimately everything good in life stems from respect and love for oneself, and for those others you come across who are deserving. Well finally MiMi showed Me the love and respect, so there it is, the foundation that we will build on for decades to come. She is going to be one of the most incredible people youll ever meet, as will my Jamesy boy, I doubt that not for one second. The three of us have much work - well, and play - ahead of us. But I know Im up for it, I hope my babies are eating their Wheaties. Cause theyre gonna earn my praise, I dont give that out to anyone for free, not even myself.

A Word of Caution from An Alpha Level Insomniac

2008-11-30T13:20:00.002-05:00

Allow Me to explain something to you people who have nevered suffered from long or perpetual bouts of insomnia. Those of us who do or have truly suffered with it know, its fuckin horrible, like really horrible. And it takes a large long term toll on its victims one way or another. Did I mention how fuckin utterly horrible it is? Catch my drift here? So for those of you d.g.i's (doesnt-get-it)out there, dont come telling one of us about "oh not me, as soon as my head hits the pillow Im out...."
Know what that makes Me wanna do? Tie the person up and slowly cut off all of their protruding body parts one at a time and then follow it up with rounds of salt and tequila shots for my drinkin enjoyment and their open wounds as well.
Insomina IS torture, literally, only the interrogation technique is called sleep deprivation.
Hello? Is this thing on?
Let Me break it down for you:
Say the wrong thing to the wrong insomniac at the wrong time and you may wind up sleeping forever.
Im just sayin.......
Youve been warned....

Miscellaneous Minutae

2008-11-27T19:25:00.003-05:00

So guess what cartoon character was a new addition to the 2008 Macys Thanksgiving Day Parade? If youre under 20 dont even bother trying anyway, because it was a smurf. Now the smurfs were fun and all but not nearly a classic 80s cartoon and seriously, who gives a shit about a smurf? Especially considering its over 20 years since theyve been of any relelvence to the young cartoon generation. Who the hell is picking these things? Whats next? Captain Caveman? John Candy from camp candy? Or perhaps the kid who used to morph into a ferrari when he got overheated? Sheesh Next thing ya know theyll have the Rockettes doing the friggin Charleston.......Lol

Spider-Man: A True Hero Among Superheroes - Part I

2008-11-25T23:30:00.004-05:00

Things in life are only as good and valuable as what they teach us about life or ourselves. Spider-Man (Spidey or Peter from here on) has been an important part of my life since the late 1980's. And Ive come to realize that even as a kid, my instincts always made good decisions. Thats not to say there arent many many times when I've gone against that better judgment but never the less my gut has never failed Me in 27 years. But I digress - point is that I immediately connected with and related to Spidey from the first moment I picked up the comic, and I now understand and can articulate as to why Spidey was my favorite and so important to Me. As a child I had watched the cartoons such as Spidey and his Amazing Friends with Iceman and Firestar and other shows like the live action Spidey show from the 70's - and while I enjoyed those and they caused Me to pick up the comic down the line, those shows didnt include the important moral lessons that Stan Lee (creator/writer) and Steve Ditko (first writer/artist) infused into Spideys entire essence.
Every Spidey comic has a brief paragraph explaining the hero's origin, a quick intro if you will, because ya never know which issue may be picked up by a first timer. At the end of that intro there is one motto that any true Spidey fan knows like the back of their hand - the line is "With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility". This line is the first stone laid in the foundation of Peters story. This maxim literally represents all that has followed in the story of our hero. Now when discussed in this type of format, that may seem pretty deep for 6 and 7 year old kids to take in to some people. Its not though. At that age kids just absorb stuff and dont ask why - it just is what it is. ya know? They wont understand it to the fullest until later in life but most kids who like reading that much will understand the basic concept of responsibility while they are still quite young. Who better to have as a role model for your kid or niece or nephew then a hero whose existence is defined by the words "With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility"?
Spider-Man burst onto the scene in 1962, in a comic titled Amazing Fantasy, issue 15. And Peter Parker was merely 15 years old when he got bitten by a radioactive spider at a science exhibit. Stan Lee created a new super-hero in response to a surging teen demographic in comic readers. So Spidey was 15 - think of the power that Spidey wields and then think of how mature the most mature 15 year old is. Yeah no matter how u try it just doesnt add up. And thats a big part of what defines Peters background. Peter had been a socially inept nerd before gaining his powers as well. So an average sized 15 year old bullied and neglected child (whose parents had already died in a plane crash by the way) was granted these amazing abilities. Well, the positivity or negativity of power is defined by the one who holds it. Peter responded like many people would to having such a turn of events, he got cocky and tried to use his new found talents to make money. He went to a televised wrestling event and defeated some big burly wrestler to win himself money so he could buy a car and impress girls. Now that sounds like a normal 15 year olds thought process right? Right. Since he beat the wrestler and had such entertaining abilities, he was offered tv opportunities and he attempted to capitalize on them, vowing to use his powers to look after his elderly aunt and uncle who raised him after his parents died. After his first tv special though, the studio he was working in was robbed and though Spidey could have easily thwarted the thiefs crime he let it happen and did nothing because he thought it wouldnt benefit him, after all, he was just there to make money for himself. Well it turned out that the same thief he let go would kill Peters uncle just a few days later. When Spidey used his powers to track down the killer, he realized that it was the thief he hadnt stopped. This crushed Peter to no end, and it pushed him to realize that he should use his power to help others, thus it is the single most important, and most defining, moment in the history of our freindly neighborhood webslinger, a.k.a. the first stone in the foundation. Thats an important and deep lesson for kids to understand, thats social responsibility - those who are capable of helping, should do what they can - to whom much is given, much is expected - and so on, you can say it a million ways but it boils down the same moral - "With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility".
Now like I said, Peter is just 15 when he becomes Spidey. he is worried about grades and babes. That was the gist of his life before the spider bite changed everything. He had these great powers but couldnt tell anyone, if he did he'd wind up as an experiment himself, or he would put his loved ones in harms way. So Peter couldnt just go into school and beat down the next bully who fucked with him. Even though he knew he was capable of literally crushing a bully's head like a grape he held back and didnt allow himself to do harm to anyone who wasnt a villain that had it coming. Yet another important thing for kids (especially boys) to learn - doing the right thing isnt usually the easy thing. Your actions will effect not only the rest of your life, but also the lives of those around you. And this is what kids wanna read for fun - can you imagine how many people never think of it that way? Your kid is probably learning something more important from Spidey then the crap they learn in 3rd or 4th grade. No exaggeration. Many of the important life lessons we try to teach children are readily found not only in the occasional Spidey comic, but in fact they are found in nearly every Spidey comic. And lets be real, no matter how much a kid loves their parent, at some point even the best kid tunes out their parents for a while. But if a kid is into Spidey, they are basically always receptive to a story about Peter and the lessons it may teach. Im tellin ya, people rarely stop to look deep into things and realize what a given thing is truly about. And this is just a small discussion of the comics virtues and positives that it brings to the table. Part I is done for now. Its getting late and I have many Spidey thoughts and memories to dig up for the rest of this piece. So for now I say good night to you, reader. Part II is soon to come.

Long days and pleasant nights to you.

Part Two is above on long view or found here if you have the limited view -

http://www.eskays-world.blogspot.com/2007/11/spider-man-true-hero-among-superheroes_27.html

=) Your Friendly Neighborhood Eskayman!

What If?

2008-11-23T19:46:00.001-05:00

What if things are as they seem?
What if this life is merely a dream?

What if things are further than they appear?
What if I never let another get near?

What if I fail? What if I succeed?
What if my hearts so cold, it no longer bleeds?

What if a true connection is never made again?
What if they think Im a seven but Im really a ten?

What if you figure it out, too little too late?
What if Ive done it in time? Have I become great?

What if your words arent nearly enough?
What if your people run when the going is tough?

What if this is more than a moment of clarity?
Does anyone outside it notice the disparity?

What if youre happy? Do you need anymore?
Must you open a window for closing a door?

What if you buy into others folklore?
What if you let that corrupt you to the core?

A Brief Side-Note on The Presidential Election

2008-11-04T17:17:00.002-05:00

Wanna know why Barack Obama is better for this country as President? Its not just because his policies beat McCains nor just because he is not named Bush. This is why: if McCain won, his supporters would nod and shake hands.
If Barack wins, his supporters will be hugging, crying and feeling extreme joy.

Small example.

Big Difference.

Why I Would Only Marry Once

2008-10-27T19:54:00.004-04:00

First off let Me start this first written venture into marriage by saying that marriage is a nice thing, a transcendental and soul filling venture when done right, but really its bullshit unto itself - the important thing and fulfilliung part of it is being in love. If you had a choice between a love-less marriage (as so many are) or a marriage-less deep love affair, well come on - we all know what the choice is there. Even serial killers know thats a no-brainer and they have serious people issues. Personally I wouldnt get married unless I was completely and utterly in love with that woman and even then it would be difficult - not to make the commitment for myself but it takes Me a very very long time to establish trust with someone. But thats neither here nor there right now, what Im saying is that being in love can happen more then once - and obviously so can marriage - but I wouldnt get married a second time - nor get married to a woman if its her second time - and ya knwo why? Its not complex - I will never be referred to as her "second husband" Noooooooo (Slow head shake). Call it what you want but fuck that - that shit aint for Me. And I wouldnt label a woman as my second wife either. Uh uh. I would live with a woman as though shes my wife - put her in my will and everything - but I just couldnt get married twice. No one says - oh this is my 19th ex girl/boy friend. Yet every time an ex husband of liz taylors meets someone new they probably still get asked what number they were - ya know? No I def couldnt do it - Id even have a fuckin ceremony or what not with the woman if she wanted but I wouldnt get actually married. Some streets are meant to be only one way in my world. I may always know in the back of my head that I wasnt the first - but I refuse to be referred to as second to anybody. That dude wasnt up to the job anyway, why should the loser get the number one next to their title? Lol. Nobody's pigeonholing Me and numbering Me like that. No I carve my own notch and need no number.

Its Simple. The Answer is Questions.

2008-10-20T23:13:00.003-04:00

Wuts up mother fuckers? How often in your life have you wondered about how much someone loves you, or if they actually do at all? Well let me point out the answer thats always right in front of your face and never lies. Im not sayin its the only barometer for how much someone loves you, but I do think its the surest single manner to judge by.
Its questions. If you wanna know if your significant other really loves you just think of how many questions they ask you. Generally speaking a person who loves you will ask you the same basic 15 - 20 questions in various forms thru out the course of your relationship. Yes that did just come outta my head aka Eskay-pedia but youll see its true. Ponder it: the basic questions theyll ask - how are you feeling? how did you sleep? did you eat? oh did you know so and so did this that and the other thing? wanna eat? What did you think of so and so? Whatcha want to eat? whatre we doing this weekend? can we afford that? did you find out if blahblahblah? whens the next day off? are you ready for more sex? . . . . . . . and so on and so forth. The more concern a person has for your well-being means theyll ask more questions to make sure theyre doing their part to make you happy. This is true of any type of relationship, platonic, family, or romantic. If a mother fucker never asks how your day was thats cause they dont fuckin care how your day was - hey how bout that, seems pretty obvious no? and yet so many miss it or deulde themselves into some fairy tale. I mean they dont hafta be askin something every 5 minutes but it would be a routine thing ya know. So the number of questions asked over time directly corrollates to the amount of love they have for you.
So if ya wanna judge how much someone loves or cares about you, or how much you love or care about them - then think of just how many questions are asked between you and whomever.
The answer will never lie.

The Truest Sign of a Really Tough Life.......

2008-10-14T20:14:00.002-04:00

Is when you dont cry at the horrors and outrages that this life brings your way day in and day out, yet you cant help but tear up when someone actually does something considerate and nice for you.

In The Depths of Solitude by Tupac Shakur

2008-10-13T17:10:00.001-04:00

i exist in the depths of solitude
pondering my true goal
trying 2 find peace of mind
and still preserve my soul
constantly yearning 2 be accepted
and from all receive respect
never compromising but sometimes risky
and that is my only regret
a young heart with an old soul
how can there be peace
how can i be in the depths of solitude
when there r 2 inside of me
this duo within me causes
the perfect oppurtunity
2 learn and live twice as fast
as those who accept simplicity

Fragmented Miscellaneous Minutae

2008-10-08T14:59:00.002-04:00

2 things here:

One - know who should be shot?
Anyone over 15 who rides those stupid scooters in public, especially in manhattan.

Two - know what thought occurred to me today? Asians smoke a lot less then the general public at large. I rarely see that going down and I work in union square - lots of asians around, very rarely are they burning a stoag.
I wonder why that is.

Drawn to Her

2008-09-24T15:03:00.000-04:00

Upon first sight,
She reeled Me in.
Could this be right?
What I feel within?
The sparks are stark,
Right from the start.
Her hearts the part
Thats left its mark.
We're cut from a cloth,
Thats derived from the same.
Like the light and the moth
I am drawn to her flame

Proverbs In Need of A Tune Up

2008-09-19T12:37:00.001-04:00

Some sayings are oldies, and goodies, but that doesnt necessarily make them correcties. Here are a couple of them that Ive adjusted, adopted, and adapted for my own vernacular and how I improved upon em:

Ignorance is bliss. - eh that gives the ignorant way too much credit.

I say: Ignorance isnt bliss, it just doesnt know any better.
Doesnt that just fit the ignorant much better?
Nuff said there.

Next -

Good things come to those who wait. - Now that word wait is way too passive for Me and the way I think of it. Remember life is give and take, not give and wait to be given back to. Waiting gives the impression of simply waiting. We can insert another word in there tho that allows the virtuous to be considerably more....assertive, while still being virtuous.

I fixed it up to be, Good things come to those who are patient.
Some may call Me crazy cause they think the two are the same but waiting implies to Me, basically waiting for someone else or something to happen before taking action, while being patient gives Me the sense of biding ones time for your own reasons and judgment. I dont know why so many try to make it like in order to be a good person you have to be meek. Thats one of the biggest lies youll ever hear. Thats called spiritual suppression and thats just some people or some institutions trying to hold people down. Good vs Evil is a war. Why would only one side have soldiers? Assertiveness isnt a symptom of malice, its a signal of strength. On that note, one last proverb for you that I didnt need to fix:
"An Angels sword must be sharper then that of any demons."

Until Next Time,
Long Days and Pleasant Nights

The Amazing Mis-Labeling of Perspective

2008-09-18T19:40:00.002-04:00

Psychologists call it Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I call it gettin the sense knocked into you. Nothing puts life in perspective like a real deal near death experience. I know.

Stream of Konsciousness 21

2008-09-14T22:40:00.000-04:00

life comes and goes
it ebbs and flows
it reaps and sows
it speeds and slows
its mind that knows
in vine that grows
its wind that blows
on skin that's rose
its these and those
from knees to nose
its highs and lows
like eyes in pose
its cops and foes
its throbs and throes
its light that glows
one might suppose

The Practiced Art of Falsehoods

2008-08-25T20:23:00.007-04:00

A brief rant on politics if it does ya fine:
Everytime I see people being too into politics on the national level, I have to laugh and shake my head to myself. Especially the ones when I can tell the person thinks theyre an intellectual, thats the best. Like hello? Do you know what youre actually reading? Youre reading lies that have been filtered and further lied upon many times before they ever get to your eyes or ears. Even the best of the politicians are liars. JFK, FDR, Lincoln, even these great leaders played the game. On the campaign trail they have to promise everything to everybody just to have a chance in the circus that is an election. The good leaders lie about smaller and less consequential things - like gettin a blowjob or bangin marilyn monroe, or possibly some large, but benevolent lies like sayin you wont free the slaves so that you can gain the power to actually free them. The shit leaders lie about big and important things, like winning the election or not being a crook or iraq or 9/11. Im not even gonna go into the total lie that is our "democratic" election process - I'll just say I hope you dont think your vote actually influences who sits in office - not for the presidency anyhow. So basically when you read a political article youre reading a politicians well thought-over lies, then youre reading the writers INTERPRETATION of said lies and dont forget their own lies they add to get noticed as a paper or individually as a writer. Then theres all the people relaying these messages btwn the pols and the papers. Ultimately reading that crap is playing a big ass widely accepted game of telephone. You know that game where you whisper something in your friends ear and they turn and tell the next person what they heard and so on down the line. Any of you familiar with that little diddy knows that the starting message is NEVER the same as the ending message. Like never in the history of mankind. Lol. But thats what these political "connoiseurs" are feeding upon. But I mean hey, since its on TV or in the paper it must be true right? Then their whole pompous over-zealous political views (and arguments - they always wanna argue) are based on lies or truths that the pols will soon be waffling on and turning into lies - I call them lies-yet-to-be. So keep that in mind the next time you put stock in something nationally political, and also the next time an argument starts with some retard. Remember you cant reason or rationalize with ignorance, so dont bother. Just know what you know and take pride in being the bigger person and moving on.

Long days and pleasant nights to you Good Reader

Stream of Konsciousness 19

2008-08-24T18:04:00.001-04:00

Have you not a clue?
I fight for the Foo
All things that I do
To self remain true
Get myself my due
So wealth I accrue
Its more than you knew
Not just green or a hue
Ignore others view
Live your life for you
Swallow after you chew
That has meaning in two
As does the Tower has grew
In this life nothings new
Know at times youll be blue
Then youll be happier too

The One Thing G. Bush II Did Right

2008-08-21T17:58:00.002-04:00

That mother fucker threw one helluva first pitch at Yankee Stadium after 9/11. Might be the best ceremonial pitch I ever saw by someone who wasnt a former player. As far as Im concerned thats the whole list of his Presidential accomplishments, and even thats tainted.

Miscellaneous Minutae

2008-08-12T21:45:00.004-04:00

So I was listening to the inXS song "I need you tonight" and I got rhythm so ya know I bounce when a song with a good beat comes on, and so Im walkin thru my apartment, and Im bouncin in tune to the song, and suddenly I had the urge to do one of the moves from the electric slide (which Ive never actually done in my life but I have a photographic memory and seen that dance enough times to know it) - anyhow so I started crackin up and it dawned on Me that I felt the need to apologize for that, its pretty horrible to do, or in this case almost doing isnt exactly an homage either. Lol. Michael Hutchins was probably turning over in his grave. At least I think thats the dead lead singers l;ast name - maybe hutchinson - I dont feel like googling now. And thats the way it was. Its not the worst disrespect one could do to a great rock song. At least it wasnt the macarena right?

A Fragmented Thought of the Misanthrope Kind

2008-08-01T14:32:00.001-04:00

If I were asked to sum up my thoughts on most of the human race in one phrase it would absolutely be simply this:

"Are you fuckin kiddin Me?"

What the Fuck Are They Thinking? Oh Right, Theyre Not . . .

2008-07-23T13:01:00.003-04:00

Know who weirds me out and disgusts Me?
People who put their personal belongings, or even worse food, on the floor of a subway train. Now in Wyoming this may not be such a big deal - but in NYC?
Hellllo? what the fuck is wrong with these people?
Even if you are short sighted (mentally speaking) and have no sense of the big picture surely you must realize that tens of thousands of pairs of feet from all over the city are walking those floors everyday. And if like Me you have vision and understanding of things that go on even though you dont see them, then you also realize that dirty diseased homeless people sleep on the train, drag their nasty ass bags or wagons thru out the mother fucking thing, and often use the inside of the train car as a toilet. Thats not even mentioning the regular people coming home from bars and clubs who puke and piss on the train. I mean seriously, you really wanna put your bag down there and then later put it on your bed or couch when you get home? Or maybe on the dinner table? Ya really want to put your coffee or soda down there and then pick it up and take a nice refreshing gulp of it laced with disgusting bacteria and chlymidia? Perhaps you like your McDonalds with a side dish of Hepatitis? BLEH. Anyhow, I just find it amazingly repulsive and unbelievably stupid. So thats that. And let Me tell you, if I was dating a girl and saw her do the food thing off that floor, we'd be done right then and there, matter of fact, Id leave the dirty bitch on the train and get off at the next stop to transfer. Then Id go sterilize my mouth with bleach and boiling water and probably scrape my skin off with a potato peeler. Ugh, and people wonder why they get sick and cant seem to keep their life on track. Hmm maybe you should think about some of the things you do sometime. But thats just a suggestion from someone who actually does think . . .
The depths of stupidity are truly epic.

A Fragmented Thought of the Forgetting Kind

2008-07-10T21:57:00.004-04:00

I just drank some root beer for the first time in a while. And after I chugged some I put that bottle down, and looked at the fuckin thing smiling and I said "damn root beer youre awesome!" Like a friggin commercial or some shit. Only not. By the way I gotta give sasperilla some props while Im thinkin of it, I havent had the sass since the 80's or maybe the early 90's. Anyway moving on, the same thing happened a couple of months ago when I broke out my george foreman grill for the first time in years and made Me some grilled cheese. Now I cant be sure but it had to have been a good five maybe even seven years since I had a grilled fromage. And the same thing happened then as with the root beer just now. I bit into it and chewed and put it down and started talking to the sandwich like the puerto rican from half baked - like "damn grilled cheese you be mad good yo! how could I go so long without you b?" And its a wonder isnt it how we can sometimews lose track of and forget things that we love or were once very important to us (yes the food is also a metaphor for other stuff too - I know grilled cheese aint that important - good? yes. important? not so much. Anywho thats strange isnt it? The way we can sometimes let things get away from us without noticing that something or someone we really cared about is missing from our lives. Well ya know what they say - life is what happens while youre making plans.

L.D. and P.N. 2 U

Money Power and Respect

2008-07-01T14:43:00.003-04:00

Respect is like money, even if you deserve it, you still gotta demand it to actually get it, asking nicely just doesnt get it done.
Once you realize that you start to realize your real power.

I wonder . . .

2008-06-29T14:37:00.002-04:00

I wonder just how many people have met George W. Bush and thought to themselves, come on, can this guy really be this dumb and ignorant? Or how many people are smart enough to have been mortally fearful upon realizing that they were in fact smarter then the leader of the free world.
Those sentences speak true, and thus they speak volumes.

The Kodak Moment

2008-06-23T22:37:00.003-04:00

Ya know what? When you see someones true colors come shining thru (trademark) it becomes like one of those 3D hologram jammies where you stare til the hidden image pops out - or like finding Waldo, in the way that once it happens you can never un-see it. Feel Me? And then when you meet other assholes with similar hideous souls as earlier assholes you saw thru it gives you an early warning sign - like you may not see Waldo right away but you still know youre looking at a picture with that lil fucker hiding in there somewhere. I know some of you wont agree but this really is a great euphamism.

And in the words of some newscaster who was off the air before I was born (Cronkite):
And thats the way it is

Fragmentation of the Cognitive Kind

2008-06-17T15:50:00.004-04:00

Ladies, I know many of you play up the role of being a bitch for various reasons, keeping yourself from getting hurt etc., but if you keep it up without recourse then eventually youll inevitably push away most of the assholes, but you will also alienate and push away the very people that you do not want to go without in your life. And more then likely the people who do stick around despite your disposition will be the assholes who seem persistent when in actuality its just that they have nowhere else to go and no self-esteem. So if you wind up old, alone (or worse with a jerkoff), and with a life you dont want, just remember that youll have no one to thank but yourself.

Long Days and Pleasant Nights

Letter to my Hero

2008-06-13T21:22:00.002-04:00

Dear Brendan,
Being as how we speak all the time, you understand that this letter is something I physically manifest because I realize that my feelings and interpretations of stuff may help others, some of whom are yours and my friends, some of whom are strangers to us both. Some of whom are something in between. Plus, its a release for Me. It never ceases to amaze Me how dramatically you have affected my existence, both thru your life and your death. You know that I always feel guilty makin it known that I have gained so much from the lessons taught to Me by losing you. And losing you so suddenly no less, like you were practically yanked right out from under the bottle of grey goose we were drinking the night before everything changed forever. But I want people to get that its not just your death that changed my life so much, it was mostly your friendship in life, and how true of a person you were, especially with Me. It pains Me to think of how many people go thru life never getting the slightest hint of the lessons that I have learned, never appreciating the things that truly make life beautiful and fulfilling. One night we were chilling, drinking in your basement, smokin in the yard, philosophizing as usual - then the next night youre in a coma that you would never come out of. We werent the oldest of friends and maybe not “best friends”, but we were the best kind of friends because we were true, no fronts, no facades toward the other. We were on the same level and we both knew it and appreciated it. Im so glad that the last things I said to you were that I was so proud of you and I encouraged you to follow your plans to go back to skool, to better yourself and improve your life. I may not have gotten a chance to say a final goodbye, however, I got to let you know that I cared, at least as much as men will ever really do in normal every day living. I also know though that even if I didnt get to say those things, as has happened to Me for others I lost - you still would have known. I have been so different for like four years now, and I always say, you can use such experiences as an excuse or motivation . . . . you know the road Ive chosen. I wrote another song about You, as youve heard since Im spittin it every chance I get when Im alone. As long as I can speak, no one who I know will forget your memory and new people will still be introduced to you. (Maybe one day by the millions if Im lucky enuff) And I finally put my finger on when Im gettin my tattoo, and it amazes Me it didnt occur to Me earlier. Its like my sub-konscious knew when to get it but wouldnt tell my mind, thats the only reason I think of that may have made me wait all this time. Your birthday is the day Im getting it. Because to this day, for Me, its exactly what I said in your eulogy, Im not mourning your death, Im celebrating your Life. Two things before I sign off this letter. One - thank you for being one of my angels on my shoulder when my accident went down. Last but not least, I told your Mom back then that I was a better person for having known you. I still feel that that is the highest honor that I myself could give or hope to receive in life. The crazy thing is that its coming up on four years later and not only do I still think of you everyday, but I still take such strength from you and I never realized how deep bettering myself could continue to go. I have no better form of thanks to offer than words I have spoken and things I have done to try and console your family and friends while comtinuing to live well and keep thoughts of you always fresh in my mind and heart. I believe your thanks to Me for my deeds and support was getting Me thru in my time of need, being a rock for Me to cling to when I had no other way of steadying myself and getting back on my feet to stand tall. I wanted you to know that even back then I was paying attention to how good of a friend you always were, and to far more people than just Me as well. If I can have the effect on the life of one person as you have had on mine, well then unquestionably it will be a life well spent. I miss you and love you and thank you and honor you until the time that we get to philosophize together again. Rest Easy My Friend

Lack of Objectivity

2008-06-13T13:47:00.002-04:00

I find it funny how often many beautiful women miss identifying the assholes in life simply because the assholes put on a front when theyre around a woman they wanna bang. And when its pointed out to them that so and so is a jerkoff they say something like no, or well hes not to me. No shit, cause you have something he wants, and badly. How do they miss it?
Again just another example of gets-it versus doesnt-get-it people

A Long Dormant Synapse That Sparked Up Suddenly

2008-05-23T20:14:00.004-04:00

I once had a conversation of sorts with a cardinal, yes the bird. Well I think it was a cardinal but Im not a bird expert. Anyway, out in L.I. with my ex back in 2000 we were eating breakfast on the back patio and a cardinal showed up and whistled. So in a high pitch I whistled back at it and it responded. Then I responded back with the same tune it had whistled and added a bit more, then the bird copied mine and added more of its own. This went back and forth more tthen just a few times, thus proving it wasnt mere coincidence. But you wouldnt believe the sharpness that both I and the bird were going back and forth with. It was insane. And I had a witness. I doubt that would ever happen again even if I tried.

Breakthrough with the Nephew

2008-05-04T15:27:00.002-04:00

My nephew James just said my name for the very first time. The twins Mia and James are 2 years old now. Until now he hasnt been able to say Uncle on a regular basis (Uncy did make the cut a few times) and he hasnt been saying Vin or Vincent yet and then today I said to my sister, "you know he doesnt call Me anything" and I turned to him and said "Say Vinny" (first time I tried Vinny instead of Vin or Vincent) and he immediately responded with "Vwinny!". Yes the "w" belongs there its how he said it. But it came out crystal clear and he has kept on saying it since. Its like he refused the formal versions of my name until he was given the casual & friend-esque version.
Seriously, its so fuckin awesome. Makes Me feel great.

A New Era has officially begun.......

The Fragmented Thought thats just the Tip of the Iceberg

2008-04-23T20:39:00.003-04:00

Ya know many, no, make that most people who use their minds, or at least think they do, will tell you that the greatest gap in difference between groups of people on earth runs between the haves and the have-not's.
This isnt true.
The biggest schism between two groups that make up the entire human race runs between the Get-It's and the multitude of Dont-Get-Its.
Trust Me on that.

Take it from a lifelong Gets-It.

A Bi-Sected Pontification . . .

2008-04-16T22:50:00.003-04:00

Ya know the term hyphenated they use for what a woman should do if she uses both her maiden and married surname? Well I think that term is kind of divisional - in my opinion it causes a psychological rift, ya get what Im sayin? Its separatist right from the get-go. It implies taking something away on some level to Me.
I think the phrase for that should be doubling your name or doubling up your last name. Thats more positive and implies adding something or adding to something. I mean married life is supposed to be about bringing two people together to make a union that is greater then anything they could achieve being on their own. So something associated with marriage should, to Me, be more about pluses then minuses.
So there ya go, thats what I think about that, my good Reader.

A Funny Thing About Being Me

2008-04-06T18:35:00.002-04:00

So many people in my life have said to Me over and over:
Vinny you think youre always right, yet not a one has ever told Me that they believe Me to be wrong.

2 Fragmented Thoughts

2008-04-04T21:31:00.006-04:00

1) Every woman will tell you they want equality but then most expect the man to be the one to call them every single time during the courting process. Its like they seem to not get that relationships are 50-50. Playing hard to get just doesnt cut it with a real man, I know we are a rare breed but all the women SAY theyre looking for a real man - yet when they find one they get intimidated and turn tail to jet. I wonder what makes them think I need less attention and caring then they want for themselves. Plus most of them never offer to pay for jack shit (and lord knows they rarely pay for drinks in bars even if the chick is fubar). Seriously most women are very selfish and believe that because most mens selfishness is worse that it justifies their own. Sorry but it dont work that way. Get with the program ladies. Nothing in this life is free, if you want a good relationship you better be ready to pay for it every single day. Life is give and take - not take and take and take . . . . . . .

2) Why do the over zealous Jesus freaks go to the subway so often? Seriously like how fuckin dumb are they? Even Jesus would laugh at these mother fuckers. Like sorry but nobody who has a job or destination to get to could give two shits about Jesus loving us while we are on the move. Seriously - and besides did these bitches ask Jesus if he loves Me? He may not care for my approach to life. I could be a rapist, murderer or a beater of children & puppies for all they know. Perhaps I should start tellin them about why their father never loved them - cause I know as much about their life as they know about mine. Why dont they try tellin Me what Jesus hates? now that I may stop and listen to for a second. But I digress, nothing is more annoying then these fuckin assholes trying to shove their religious beliefs down your throat - then when I make smart remarks at them they wanna act like how dare I. Bitch how dare you! If youre so close to Jesus then go and hang out with him - or go get a fuckin job would ya? Otherwise get outta my way or get pushed out of the way by a metal elbow.

An Idea at the Top of the List of Existential Fragmented Thoughts

2008-04-03T21:59:00.004-04:00

Isnt it absolutely amazing that human beings are so private about, and most are usually ashamed of, the things that are most common to ALL people and the human experience regardless of race color or creed. Like sex, bodily functions, illnesses, fear, sadness, addiction, pain, embarassment, "guilty" pleasures, envy, resentment, genuine and sincere emotions, love or the lack there of . . .

The ties that bind also serve as the partitions that divide.

Id say the irony kills Me but the truth is I actually thrive on it to some degree. Its retarded, ass backward, self-defeatist thinking like that that reminds Me of the strides Ive made in my approach to life, and why I am able to remain truly happy - ya know the kind of happiness that cant be bought or brought about by another person. Like I always say, ignorance isnt bliss, it just doesnt know any better. And then thinking of those things makes Me happy even that much more.
Its quite the benevolent cycle I tell you.
Now theres a phrase you never heard before.

Seeing the confinement of ignorance and its self-imposed limitations serves as a constant reminder as to how great it is to be a free thinker, and thus a free man.

999 out of 1,000 wont truly get what that last sentences TRUE meaning is, but thankfully I dont write for those 999,

I write for the one out of 1,000 who does get it.

Asshole? Or not an Asshole?

2008-03-24T21:59:00.001-04:00

Wanna see people change from their contrived best behavior to their true crappy selfish nature all on network tv? Tune into Deal or no Deal. The contestants spouse or close friend or relative is bound to sing more different tunes then Pavirotti did. First theyre all cheer leader and focused on the contestant yet by the end you can see the selfish douchebag part of them thinking that just by being there for support theyve spmehow earned part of the contestants winnings. You can especially see this when the contestant loses and the person supporting them somehow looks even more disappointed then the contestant themselves. And the whole connotation of the stuff they yell in support changes too. The "come ons" get a bit more desperate - the "you came here to take a chance" soon turns into "well think about it now thats a whole lot of money theyre offering". People on the whole really are such slimy disgusting creatures who do the occassional truly good thing. Never try to convince yourself its the other way around or youll only wind up horribly disappointed. Psh - I aint even in a bad mood right now. What does that tell ya about coming to terms with things? I went from the ideal idealist to the ideal realist yet somehow I didnt change. I often wonder just how many sides to Me there are.......

A Fractured Ponderance

2008-03-24T21:22:00.001-04:00

Opinionated almost always means steadfast in ones own opinion and ignorant of others'.

A Thought for the Ladies out There

2008-03-22T13:34:00.001-04:00

If the Knights armor is shining, well then the mother fucker really hasnt been putting in much knightly work before, now has he?

What The Fuck Were They Thinking?

2008-02-26T23:55:00.003-05:00

I wonder why in the old comics and cartoons they used to make the hero leave out the first person pronoun. Like in the old toons something would go wrong and Spider Man or Superman would have a line that reads like this:
"Must get to that woman falling out a 10th story window"

or, if they were hurt it would be more like this:
"Must . . . . . . . get to . . . . that woman . . . . . . . falling out . . . . a 10th . . . . . . . story window"

Now why did the writers cut out the "I"?
Not only does it sound retardedly dumb its grammatically incorrect and superheroes are supposed to teach kids things when theyre young. I just see no possible interpretation for why someoe would think thats a good idea.
SO OLD COMIC BOOK WRITERS IM CALLIN YOU OUT!!!!
BITCHES!!!

WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?

A Rule that Im an Exception to

2008-02-23T15:41:00.002-05:00

"Those who talk a lot usually have very little to say"

A Brief Glimpse into the Male Psyche

2008-02-11T21:05:00.001-05:00

One of my theories as to why guys are so much more sexually inclined then women at any given moment in time is because of simple anatomical geography. I dont mean like hormones and shit on the inside but I mean literally the placement of the penis on the outside of the body. Think about it for a sec, the male sex organ can literally never be forgotten for very long by those of us who have one because it dangling between our legs exposed to many and almost any type of physical contact, and physical contact with the penis makes us guys think of sex. I mean hey sex is also referred to as bangin anbd our dicks bang into things CONSTANTLY. Either its rubbin against your pants, or slappin into your leg, or gettin brushed up against by some chick with a big ass on the train who seems to have no clue as to what personal space is. So in other words, even if you forget about it for a little while - at some point in the near future a guy will feel it move in his pants, even if its just makin an adjustment in the way your sitting. Think about how often that happens to us in a normal day and thus how often we are reminded about sex because well - what the hell else is penis gonna make u think of unless youre a urologist? I mean just imagine you have a gun on your hip like a gunslinger, now no matter how used to wearin it you get at some point itll bounce against your hip and youll remember that you have a gun - and though you may not necessarily wanna shoot someone, what else would come to mind when thinkin of a gun? See what Im gettin at? Now Im not sayin this is why guys are so horny but just one of the many small contributing factors, well its a bigger factor for some of us . . . ;)

Fragmented Thinking and a Requiem

2008-01-26T22:02:00.000-05:00

First things first. Today is my cousin Bobbys birthday and its his 12th in heaven. God bless him and I miss him. Im grateful for all he taught Me and for all that his death taught Me. He and I were cut from the same cloth. Wish I had more time to spend with him. But I suppose Heaven needed another artist. Hes sorely missed and well remembered. R.I.P. Bobby.
Sparta Rises

The fragmented thought of the moment is this: How the fuck do I always come into a movie on cable at the same exact moment in the film? I'll see like Chronicles of Riddick or some shit at a certain scene and turn it off and later that day or the next day or even the next week I manage to flip into the movie at the same exact moment I left it previously. I dont have the ill cable package but Ive got a few dozen good channels that I actually watch and theres no way its coincidence to be happening this often over this many years. Im convinced the TV Gods are sending Me a message to watch whatever it is because theres like some important thing or another I can get out of it somehow. Im tellin ya, as my boy S. King writes in the Dark Tower; Destiny is a wheel - and as I like to say it rarely shows up in the manner you expect. Hey if youre truly believe then you have to follow wherever that path of belief leads you.

I wish you long days and pleasant nights.

Now I gotz Me some haze thats in need of smokin ;)